The Dastardly Misadventures of Lady Einstein and Boris Karloff II
by Madame Cross Marian
Summary: Based upon the gender blind casting that places Einstein as female in a production of Arsenic and Old Lace in which I took part I bring to you a collection of one-shots, generally updated bi-weekly, on the (mis)adventures of Herma Einstein and Jonathan Brewster- the monster and his doctor.


AN: Helloooo~! Me and my friend wrote this in the style of I write a paragraph, text it to her, and she writes the next one, so such an so forth. I came up with the idea after the end of my production of Arsenic and Old Lace in which I played the fabulous . See, we had gender blind casting, so we ended up with , lady Reverend Harper, all female cops except lt. Rooney, and last but not least lady Einstein. Throughout the production let's just say the entire cast started shipping Jonathan and Einstein. Really hard. With a frightening passion. The gay actor for Jonathan even shipped them- he wanted them to make out on the couch. Now this story rose about when the lovely and fabulous actor for Jonathan, whom we shall refer to as Boris, was in charge of costume design. Originally our lady Einstein's skirt reached her ankles, but Boris didn't like that. Thusly he hemmed it to about half way down her calf, and for a while we had a running joke about making a fanfiction for Jonathan shortening Einstein's skirts. Well, here we are, the beginning of what we hope to be a bi-weekly series, me and my dear friend whom I shall refer to as Abbyness who was not in fact part of the play but did in fact do my hair for it and see it in its entirety with the free ticket I got her (cuz she's a freeloader). She will not have an author's note here cuz she's a fool and trusted me to talk nicely about her. I'll mark her sections with an A and mine with an M. Hope you enjoy, cuz there'll be more wether you do or not :D

-Story Start-

A

Einstein rifled through the dresser, and tried to pick a skirt. It didn't really make a difference which one she picked, though, because they were all the same. Well, practically. Dark blue. Dark blue. Black. Dark blue. She sighed and picked one, and put it on, then slipped on a white ruffled blouse. When she looked at the clock, it was almost time to go. Her grey suitcase and little black instrument box were stacked up in the corner of the hotel room. She picked them up, and awkwardly got the door to open with her elbows. When she finally squeezed through the door, her heel caught on a bump in the old carpet. Einstein braced herself for the hard impact of the ground, but instead, felt a body in front of her. Fleeting hope led her to clamp her arms around this stranger, trying to get steady, but instead, they both collapsed onto the ground. When Einstein started to pull herself together. She found eyes boring into hers. The eyes of Jonathan. "Sorry Chonni, my heel caught ze carpet, I, oh goodness, sorry..." She got back up and pushed her suitcase off of Johnathan, and went to help him up, but he was already standing. Einstein was blushing furiously, and looked like she expected Jonathan to hit her, but he only looked her up and down. "Einstein." He said, looking into her eyes, "I think we have an issue."

She looked back. "Vot?"

"The length of your skirt."

M

"V-vy?"

"It's too long."

"Vot do you mean it's too long?"

"You trip on it. We have to escape from the police, and I'm _not _going to carry you. Not to mention its lack of appeal."

"Lack of appeal?"

"Just because you've ruined my face doesn't mean you have to dress like an old woman."

"But it already shows part of my calf-"

"So what's the rest of it?"

"But Chonny, your face already draws enough attention after zat incident in Chicago-"

"How will my face draw attention if everyone's looking at you?"

"Zat-zat- you overestimate me, Chonny." she stammered with a slight blush growing on her face. "I can't even sew."

"I'll hem it for you."

"You know zat I have more zen one skirt, right, Chonny?"

"...Really?"

A

Einstein was almost offended, but then, she agreed.

"Eet doesn't seem so... Does eet?"

She sort of chuckled, and if you looked closely enough, Jonathan's face might have held a smile. They sat in silence for a moment, then Jonathan breathed in quickly, and turned on his heel.

"Well, we really must be going. A woman looked like she recognized me in the hallway."

He turned his head toward Einstein's instruments, and when she realized this, she quickly snapped them up.

Jonathan chuckled, and started walking.

M

-1-1-1-

"Chonny- Chonny!"

"Hm?"

Einstein rushed into his room with multiple skirts of slowly decreasing length draped over her arm.

"Is there an issue, doctor?"

"Look at zis!" She pulled the top skirt off the pile. It looked as though it would stop just above her knee.

"What? Do you have a problem with my hemming, Doctor?"

In fact he turned out not to be lying about knowing how to sew. The hems were almost disturbingly tidy- professional, even.

"Yes- no- not in the ze way zat you're thinking. It's too short! I can't go out like zat!"

"Then don't. What about just when I'm around?"

"Va- no! Chonny, half of these aren't half as long as zey should be, and ze rest aren't fit for even an underskirt!"

"Are you insulting my work, Doctor?" He rose from his position on the side of the bed. She jumped and cowered, trembling slightly.

"Zat's not it, Chonny! It's just I don't vant us to get arrested for indecency before ve get arrested for murder."

"...fine. I wouldn't want you to offend my Aunt's delicate sensibilities anyways. Wear the longest one today. Then we're off."

"You sure, Chonny?" She asked a mix of relief and guilt.

"Yes, Doctor. Prepare yourself for the journey- and don't forget you instruments."

She gulped. "Yes, Chonny."

-1-1-1-

"Chonny!"

"He said I looked like Boris Karloff!"

"He vas nice!"

"He was looking at your legs!"

"And who's vault is zat?"

The drive in silence for a minute.

"Sorry."

"Vot?" She jumped in surprise.

"Do not make me repeat myself, Doctor... I'll buy you new skirts."

She turned away but a small smile was still in place. She was glad that she, if no one else, knew that Johnny wasn't all bad. That's why he was hers- her monster, as she his doctor.

-Chapter End-

AN: Are the author change markings too distracting? Please let me know if they are so I can leave them out next time! Adeus~ ^_^


End file.
